Without
by GabbehGrrr
Summary: If Jacob wasn't around what would happen to Bella? There's no one left to stitch up her heart so what will happen?


She felt nothing but despair during his absence, why he had left, no one knew. She missed him greatly, she had unfortunately fallen in love with him. It had seemed as if he had fallen for her too, but apparently not. He hadn't been gone long, but to her it felt like forever, everyday was an effort.

Who knew if he would return, she was giving up hope, she was giving into the hole in her heart. It consumed her, she wouldn't get up anymore, she stopped talking and only ate tiny bites of food, although she drank water regularly. She was severely malnourished and it was beginning to show, if she carried on like this she'd be in a mess.

Her friends visited her and called her, they spoke to her, they brought her presents, they tried and tried. They never stopped visiting one would visit each week, they wouldn't give up hope, they couldn't give up hope. Angela begged and begged for 3 hours straight for Bella to eat the sandwich Angela had made her but she said nothing, only kept shaking her head and turning away.

Her father didn't know how to cope, so he brought her water and food and tried talking to her, but as a month passed he gave up hope. He would bring her food and water but not bother talking to her. He was slowly becoming consumed by sorrow and guilt, it was not his fault, but he thought he should of protected her, she was after all, his daughter.

The food he brought up was left untouched and soon the water was left untouched, the situation was growing dire, with every passing moment Bella's depression rapidly increased. She never left her room, her tiny body became frail and her skin became a deathly pale. She sat crying and crying, she did it quietly as not to wake her father, her heart ached and there was only one person who could comfort her, the one person who didn't want to.

She would cry or curl up into a ball on her side, she occasionally stood from bed and slipped on new clothes. Nothing fit her anymore she was at the most a size 4 now, whereas before she was a happy size 10. (British sizing)

Only once in the long time she stayed locked away did she stand and look in the mirror, she was a yellow colour, deep purple rings round her eyes, her face was tear stained, her once brown, chocolate hair no longer hung wavy and perfect on her shoulders, it was replaced by a faded brown that was matted and went to half way down her back. Her ribs stuck out, her hip bones jutted out too, her arms were frail and looked like they would snap at any moment, there was no fat on her body at all, she was just skin and bones. She hated the sight of herself but what could she do!?

She climbed back into bed, her dad walked in an hour later with doctor May. Doctor May was her doctor, she was a tall, pretty, blonde woman. He hair was tied into a bun and she wore her doctor's uniform. As she saw her face doctor May gasped. She slowly approached the bed and looked closely at Bella.

"how long has she been in this bed ? Does she eat regularly? We may have to admit her to hospital." Doctor May gushed her voice was gentle and shocked.

"nearly 6 months and no she'll only eat 1 maybe 2 bites of food a day. Oh please, no, she has a terrible fear of needles and hates hospitals. She won't talk either" He replied worried.

Bella rolled over in her bed. Wow. It had only been 6 months she thought it had been decades. She had been formulating a plan and she decided tonight would be the night, her plan would work. Doctor May and Charlie, Bella's dad, had agreed to admit her tomorrow.

That night Bella rose from bed at around 5.15 pm and did what she had planned. At around 5.30pm there was a knock at the door, Charlie went to answer it, when he did, there in the doorway he stood. His copper hair messy and in his face from running, he was panting and was taller than Charlie remembered.

"hello, I really need to see Bella. Please, please, please." He begged out of breathe, his eyes were full of sorrow, Charlie didn't want to let him, but he knew he was the only one who could help.

So he stepped aside and pointed to the stairs, not wanting to talk to him. He sprinted up them and into her room.

There she was swaying slightly, in the dress he had bought her, the vibrant yellow contrasting with her pale skin. The flowing material ruffled but perfectly clean, the sparkly jewels glittering in the late evening sun. It hardly fit her, it looked as if it would fall off at any moment. He collapsed to his knees sobbing tearlessly.

"NO! Charlie call an ambulance. Quick!" He yelled urgently, he stood slowly, his eyes screaming the sorrow he couldn't express any other way. What had he done!?

He undid the noose and fell to the floor with her limp body in his arms, he held her close willing her to live again, he saw how frail and thin she was, he could feel her bones sticking out, they pressed gently into his skin. He would never forgive himself for this.

Never.

He held her head so he could see her face, he brushed the hair from her face and what he saw would haunt him forever, her eyes were closed, they were a blur of purple and red, her tear stained face, her chapped bleeding lips, her pale yellow skin, her hair ruined, nothing was as it had been. It had all been destroyed.

Then and ambulance crew rushed in with a stretcher. The rest was a blur for everyone. Everyone knew how Bella had been, the neighbours were stood round and Bella's friends had rushed over tears down there faces they had never given up on her. But now all hope was lost.

The next day was a blur as she was sectioned and they had her drip feeding. A lot of tests happened, if Edward liked he could of listened and understood, but he couldn't concentrate. He never left her side. Not for a moment, not even when he was ordered to.

After a week of being in a coma, her finger twitched, the finger of the hand he was holding. Charlie had to go to work. Charlie and him had made emends, he explained how he had no choice he thought he was ruining her life and Charlie forgave him. Everyday he would sleep on a camp bed next to her, for 3 weeks he waited and waited, then suddenly she stopped breathing. He alerted the nurse and they got a machine to breathe for her, for another week she was on the machine.

She started to breathe for herself again and they removed the machine. After a month in a coma, they were debating weather to keep her life support on or not. It was breaking his heart. He had done this. He wouldn't be able to live if she died. She had made little improvement she was still pale and underweight by a lot. Her skin wasn't as yellow and he brushed her hair for her, her eyes still had deep purple circles but the red was gone and the tear stains had gone too.

He would cry occasionally and sometimes he wanted to get up and walk away. Try and forget. But he couldn't bring himself too. The girl he loved was in a coma and might not live and it was all his fault. After 5 weeks and 3 days in a coma a miracle happened.

She opened her eyes, as she did, she saw an angel. She must have been in heaven, she wondered how long she'd waited in the dark to reach heaven, but here she was. She no longer need to feel pain, here she was with her angel. The angel looked at her, his face was shocked and tears were steaming down his face. He smiled weakly at her and brushed the tears from his face.

"I-ii-I I'm sorry, sor-r-r-ry-y" he stuttered his voice breaking.

She wondered why the angel weeped, it was wrong and what was the angel sorry for. He had come back to her, he would stay with her forever, here in heaven. She had not stopped staring at his face, she took a moment to look around. This wasn't heaven, it looked like… like….. A hospital. She hated hospitals, no, no, it couldn't be. Who could have saved her ? She had drifted into her death. No one could have saved her, could they?

"were am I ? What happened?"

She whispered, it dawned on her, he wasn't an angel, she wasn't in heaven. He had come back to her, it had nearly been too late though. Could she forgive him ? She loved him but look what had happened in his absence.

But he was after all her Edward.


End file.
